Thursday, January 2, 2014

Insert Witty Title Here


Well hello again! What’s new and exciting in your world?

There’s a ton new with me. I’ve moved to the ‘burbs, had a baby boy, and just been keeping far too busy. That’s not a complaint, but more of a statement. I’ll try to fill you in over the next little while, I know you can barely contain your excitement, but try to give it a shot.

I was in the delivery room when the little guy was born. You know how people say that child birth is a beautiful miracle? They lied. It’s a miracle alight, but there is nothing beautiful about it. Believe me, there are just some things you can’t un-see. But he is a cool little dude, which is pretty awesome.

So the little guy has definitely been keeping me busy. He turned one a few weeks ago, which is pretty cool. We like him so much, my wife has decided that she wants to have another one. I don’t know whether that is because she really wants another baby, or she wants another year of mat leave. Either way, I like how this plays out for me, at least until she gets pregnant.

She’s pretty serious about it this time. She even picked up ovulation kits so she knows when it is the “right time”. She said to me, “You know, when I am ovulating, we may have to have sex four or five nights in a row.”

“What am I? 25 or something? There’s no way I can go four nights in a row. Besides, it’s hockey season, and all the TV shows are all new again. I have shit to do. I just don’t have that kind of time.” Yes, I know, I’m quite a romantic.

She even got a special lube called “Pre Seed”. I wish I was making that up. I think the Weed Man sold me something like that for my lawn last spring. I hope it’s not the same stuff. That could get pretty awkward, especially if it makes our genital regions green, thick and lush, just like my lawn. Not sure whether we’ll need a shot of penicillin or a hit of Weed-B-Gone.

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